Dis jokes

Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.

Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!

Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.

Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.

There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.

Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.

Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.

Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.

Where do you go when food dies?

A fooderal.

I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

My uncle died in 9/11. He was a pilot.

Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"

Why didn't the child go to school?

Because he died of a heroin overdose.

What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?

Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.

I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.

My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.

Stephen Hawking died due to the BIOS update. He shut down because the power cable got chewed.

Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?

He was a brave sucker.

Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.

Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.

My dad died in 9/11.

He was a good pilot.

Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.

My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:

Allah hu akbar.