
Dildo jokes
Yo Momma so slutty she uses a SpaceX rocket as a dildo.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get to the house. They turned the lights out. Jill shouts, "It's a dildo, WTF?"
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"
The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
Community talk
so I'm a 1ft 2 inch carrot that is 4 inches wide. I was the biggest baddest carrot in the supermarket until one day, a 17 year old boy grabbed me alongside some vaseline. And then, when we got home, he dipped me in that vaseline and... I don't need to say the rest. Anyways I now smell like shit and his mother threw me out the window out of fear. I then got picked up by a trash collecter and he used me as a dildo too.… Read more
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Ukraine (🇺🇦) Vs Russia (🇷🇺) place your bets!!! i got all my dildos on russia



