Die jokes
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the Wi-Fi password.
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
Why did Stephen die so early?
He didn't use long lasting batteries.
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh, you wanna die? I wanna die too!
Why did the moderator of worstjokesever.com die?
He had a heart attack because he was a fat loser.
What do Batman and orphans have in common?
Their parents died.
Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.
Get off this site and go have some sex, you fucking virgins.
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.
When did Jesus die?
On Luan Day hahahahahahahahahahahahaha LOUD HOUSE wink wink.