Dick's jokes
Why are Asian's dicks too small?
So they can reset the calculator.
What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?
Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
Do you know Candice?
Nope.
Candice dick fit in your mouth.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.
Moby Dick's father's name...
Papa Boner.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
Wanna suck my dick?
No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.
Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?
What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?
"I C D K"
You know what I see?
DICK
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.