When Mother Teresa went to heaven, she was greeted by Saint Peter with a halo for her dedication to the needy. After walking around for a while, she saw Lady Diana with a bigger halo. She got angry at Lady Diana and went to Saint Peter and asked him why she had a bigger one, and Saint Peter said, "Oh, that’s not a halo, that’s a steering wheel."
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?
Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?
It had nine shots and seven chasers!
What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?
Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.
What do Princess Diana and the Beatles have in common?
They both made quite an impact in Europe.
What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?
It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.
Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
How did Princess Diana die?
Giving the glove box head.
What was the last hat Princess Diana wore?
A bonnet.
Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?
To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?
Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
