Despair jokes
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".
I wanna die.
Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.
Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
Wanna know why I don’t make suicidal jokes?
Because I am one.
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
It's muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die, die.
It says enter a joke, but I can't enter my life.
Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
What did I say to the bridge?
Bye, bridge.
I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.