Death Penalty

Death Penalty jokes

Blonde

    • Three girls were lined up for execution. The black-haired one, being the smart one, turned around and yelled, "Tornado!"

    Everyone panicked, and she escaped. The red-headed one, following her example, shouted as the executioners got back, "Hurricane!"

    The red-headed friend escaped too. Now, it was the blonde's turn. Following both her friends, she turned to the executioners and yelled:

    "Fire!"

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    • Guy

    • Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

    I guess it really IS all in the execution.

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    • Sex

    • So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

    I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

    Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

    But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

    Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

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    • Penalty

    • I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.

    Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!

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    • Priest

    • A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"

    "Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"

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    • Joy

    • I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!

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