I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.
Deaf Jokes
Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
So this guy we talked to wanted me to leave forever, and we said, "What? You never want to hear from me again?"
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
There was a guy I knew who owned a foot-high piano player.
He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish.
The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf, as all he got was a 12" pianist.
Deaf people suck lots of dicks.
They can't hear!
What did the blind deaf orphan child get for Christmas?
cancer.
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
The deaf man said to the waiter:
"Mmmm."
The waiter said, "No English."
Then the deaf man signed, "F U."
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?
It's ok, he didn't either!
When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
"What do we want?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
"When do we want them?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
