Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
Deaf Jokes
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?
They both can't hear their parents.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
I gave a deaf kid AirPods.
Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.
Paralyzed Man: *gets up* I’m out of here!
Blind Man: Did that paralyzed man just get up?
Deaf Man: Did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up?
Mute Man: Did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Dead Man: Did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say did that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Doctor: *calls 911*
911 service: 911 what’s your emergency?
Doctor: Yes, uh, a “normal” person just said that did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up?
911 service: *hangs up*
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]
What's a deaf kid's favorite words?
"Shut up."
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"
The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.
If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?
Helen Keller deaf-initely faked it!
Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?
Because she’s blind and deaf.
