What’s the difference between a orphan and a apple.A apple gets picked.
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. he says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave. the poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
whats the difference from morbid humor & dark humor
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers
why cant chines people play base ball because they ate the bat
doctor suess break up lines one fish two fish blue fish red fish im breaking up with you bitch
how did the gay girl die? homocide
why are americans good at rubix cubes there so good at separating colors
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said “Your sister is dead!” sadly. The girl asked “She was skinny, right?” The mom said yes. The sister laughed “I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!”
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section
What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them they disappear.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away... That is... if you throw it hard enough.
i put someone in a wheelchair in to the fire and called him hot weels
What’s the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
why can't emos have add
cus they are already scatter brained
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays
If you ever frustrated just punch them in the face what are they gonna do tell their parents
A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm “This place looks scary” they kid said And the man replies” I know right, I have to walk out of there alone”
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere 💀
Me: good night everyone My friends and family: night Me: *gets in coffin* My family: *stares at my friends* you aren't going to do something?!? My friends: *to my family* nope, this is normal.
Pro tip: how to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make you child hold the nail.
