Dais jokes
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because there is no Mother's or Father's Day.
My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.
Oh my Prince, I've loved you ever since the day we met.
When I was caught in your net of love, sweet love... It's all above...
So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.
But don't worry, he is all right now.
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
Memes
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
Hi 👋, was the day you?
When is Father's Day?
Nine months before Mother's Day.
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.
One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.
It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.
I did a walk today, but I did have a good day. Tomorrow night, I...
My teacher told me to have a good day. SOOOOOOOOOO I went home :)
What is your favorite time of day?
What time is it when you say "bad day?"
It's a very smart day today. I'd say it has about 30-45 degrees, with humidex.
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)
Once Jimmy was minding his own business, then he hears his mom come home. He asked, "Where have you been?" She replied with, "I was at work," yet he knew his mom did not have work. So the next day, while heading to school, he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant, and they want to try their device, and they need the baby's dad to say if it's alright.