Dais jokes

What day are twins born the most?

Toos-day.

Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.

Good Morning, Everyone! Have an amazing day!

I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!

The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.

Hi! I love that you love a good time of my day.

What time is it when you get home and you walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school? Oooooo day, a great night for

What is the difference between the snow boots on a day today, but you have the one was the night you were coming tomorrow? I can get home night time for.

I made a website for orphans the other day... it doesn’t have a home page.

Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.

I tried to eat a clock the other day.

It was very time consuming.

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.

On the day of 9/11, the WTC's ordered cheese and pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

What is an orphan's favorite day?

Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.

A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!

My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.