Dais jokes

Why did the orphan go outside the school?

Answer: Because it was take your parents to school day.

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

Hi! I love that you love a good time of my day.

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

What did the water say to the cup?

"Good day!"

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.

Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?

Because they don't have a Father's Day.

I asked my dad to come to my Father’s Day breakfast.

The orphanage worker just said, “Don’t be silly!”

I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.

Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.

I made a website for orphans the other day... it doesn’t have a home page.

You know what should give up and stay dead?

Fortnite.

I tried to eat a clock the other day.

It was very time consuming.

The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.

What time is it when you get home and you walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school? Oooooo day, a great night for

What is the difference between the snow boots on a day today, but you have the one was the night you were coming tomorrow? I can get home night time for.

There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.