I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
But why did 7 eat 9?
'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D
On the day of 9/11, the WTC's ordered cheese and pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.
A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!
Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.
I asked my dad to come to my Father’s Day breakfast.
The orphanage worker just said, “Don’t be silly!”
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
Today is the day, time for more jokes!
One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.
Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."
Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"
One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
One day, I was just chillin', being a tower. I saw a plane, but it was slowly growing.
Then it hit me.
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.
You know what should give up and stay dead?
Fortnite.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her but on the cliff, so I pushed her over because i lost my balance
