Dais jokes

Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.

Boss: Have a good day.

Me: *goes home*

Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.

What’s the difference between an emo and a pack of Oreos? The emo’s barcode gets longer every day.

What did the water say to the cup?

"Good day!"

Leo is like a cloud... when she disappears, it's a beautiful day.

One day, I was just chillin', being a tower. I saw a plane, but it was slowly growing.

Then it hit me.

I poo 11 times a day.

Myla, what did you do for Father's Day?

Myla: I went to a restaurant.

Timmy, what did you do for Father's Day?

Timmy: I went to a concert.

Olivia, what did you do for Father's Day?

Olivia: Talked to him through an ouija board.

My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.

What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?

Because they miss Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.

My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

'Cause 7 8 9.

But why did 7 eat 9?

'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D

Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.

What day are twins born the most?

Toos-day.

I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!

Good Morning, Everyone! Have an amazing day!

One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.