Your dad must be a mailman.
Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?
A: "Oops, I got your nose!"
Uh, uh, fuck me, daddy!
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
One night, a girl said to her family, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa." The next morning, her grandpa died. That night, she said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodbye Grandma." The next morning, the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night, the girl said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy." The next morning, the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine, but when he went into the kitchen, he saw his wife crying. When he asked her what's wrong, she said, "The mailman died."
Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?
Mom: No, that's impossible.
Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?
Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.
Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^
You're at your girlfriend's house for a family dinner. Your GF says, "Daddy, please pass me the salt," when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
The sexual shout "Yes Daddy" probably originated in Alabama.
Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"
Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
My sister said, "Daddy can you pass the salt?" So I raped her.
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.
"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."
Could it be ligma. Ligma balls daddy
If Dusty's dad from Home Alone 2 was in NASA, how come he is not famous?
"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"
"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
