Cripple jokes

If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?

These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.

What did the orphan say to the crippled man?

I suffer from crippling depression.

Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?

From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.

Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!

So I added Paul Walker on Xbox the other day, and it’s annoying cause all he does is sit on the dashboard.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?

Because he can't do standup.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Crippling depression.

Crippling depression who--?

Me.

My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.

I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his Christmas present. The ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. The ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.

I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.

Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.

Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.

Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.

To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.

Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?

Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.

bradley

louie

How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost internet connection.

Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"

What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.

What's an edible part of a wheelchair?

A vegetable!