How emos propose:would you please join my family tree.
Credit to my friend @omnom
being gay must be a pain in ass
credit to omnom
Why did the black lady gave the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds? tax credit.
Q. why can't the orphan buy robucks A. he could not use his mothers credit card
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python? When they are hungry they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eat for a day, you give a man a language and he eat for a lifetime
Bully (đ): Name 3 things you don't have.
Orphan named Kaiel (đ) : Um...a dog...a doll...and a credit card.
Bully(đĄ): NO!
Orphan named Kaiel (đ): Sorry, what???
Bully (đ¤Ł): Parents. Family. And a home with people you love.
Gwen sassy: Hi here my credit card don't get it wet it is to much! Unknown: Okay! Gwen sassy: Man I am late can you move a long! Much! Unknown wispering: Sexy!
joe mama so fat she could not walk the stairs of heaven.
credits: to my freind
Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? Sheâs now a man? After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!
1.You can Ět wash you Ěre eyes with soap 2.You can Ět count you Ěre hair 3.You can Ět breathe through you nose with youre tongue out 4.You just tried number three 5.When u tried number 3 u realized it was possible only u look like a dog 6.Youre smileing right now because you relized you were fooloed 7.you skipped number 5 8.you just checked if there was a number 5 9.This is not my joke all credit goes to steps
How do you keep a bull from charging? You take its credit card away
Some dude called me a tool
So later I got hammered and nailed his gf.
Guess he was right :/
credit to funnydude from laugh factory website lol
I'm doing a new thing where you say an object in the comments, and i will try to make a joke based off the object.
If you are interested, you can submit an object in the comments.
I will give the person credit each joke i do.
There is a feminist group in my town
It is called Gal-qaeda
(I actually got this from the simpsons, so credit to the show)
I can NOT take any responsibility and credit for this, it just said whats ur favourite joke so Im writing it in favor of them: A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isnât home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesnât need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts âVoodoo Dick, the door!â The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. âVoodoo Dick, the lamp!â The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsierâs desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. âVoodoo Dick, return to your box!â The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: âThe cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.â says the cashier. âYou must never forget that!â The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout âVoodoo Dick, my pussy!â The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just canât get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims âHelp, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it wonât come out!â The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. âVoodoo Dick my ass, bitch.â
Why did the credit card go to jail??????
'Cuz' it was guilty as charged
An unfortunate accident happend at the nestlè factory,a man nammed joe was seriously injourd because a box of choclates fell on him. Every time he said "The choclates are on me!" every one cheerid.
Thank you for reading if you use this on another catagory please give me credit by saying my name at the end. P.s my name is None of your buissnes. Seriously.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
Credit To: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTdZUCSiqNBBWzF398ab09Q
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
Credit To: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTdZUCSiqNBBWzF398ab09Q
So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. Credit to Sans (undertale)
