my teacher: time can't count. me: every second counts. my teacher: ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bf:what do you think about our love?
Gf:count the stars in the sky
Bf:aww its infinity
Gf:nope just a waste of time
teachr. How many kids r I'n this classroom. Kid: 73 if u count the ones u have hid in the basement
1.You can ́t wash you ́re eyes with soap 2.You can ́t count you ́re hair 3.You can ́t breathe through you nose with youre tongue out 4.You just tried number three 5.When u tried number 3 u realized it was possible only u look like a dog 6.Youre smileing right now because you relized you were fooloed 7.you skipped number 5 8.you just checked if there was a number 5 9.This is not my joke all credit goes to steps
Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”
If you kill an orphan would that count as a squad wipe.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?? She chews before she swallows
3 men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live, only if they could achieve one thing. They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each. The first person returned with apples, the leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1....2 he screamed. The next person came back with grapes, 1,2,3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing, he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well, "well i saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples"
10 Fun Facts 1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breath through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 6. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 7. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 8. You skipped number 5. 9. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 10. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
There are three types of people in the world, those who can count and those who can't.
You work at papa's pizzaria ok?
Boss: your fired! Me: ok? Worker: Why are you fired? Me: oh you wanna know... *shows him the oven with my pizza* Me: I left my pizza in the oven that bitch burnt as fuck!! Worker: OH SHIT!! Boss: did you say pizza? Me: i sure did! *shows boss pizza in oven* Me: this hoe black as fuck! Boss: i fired you because i count stop looking at your ass not this why?
There was a news the other where a magician disappeared. He was like"at the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Des,and he disappeared without a trace.
How do u count cows with a cowculater
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me. She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand. Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said That’s the last time I use ancestry.com
how many fat people are in my house 20 counting the kides in the basement
Chuck Norris counted to infinity TWICE
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field. But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count? Chew when you swallow!
