Contagion jokes

How did the other 18 COVIDs go unnoticed?

I think I gave you the coronavirus because I can't stop staring, a-choo!

An adopted kid is walking to school when an emo kid approaches him. He says the emo kid, "Do you have rope?"

"No," replies the adopted kid.

"Dang it! I hate you," says the emo kid. "Now the adopted one is angry. Well, at least I'm loved," says the adopted kid.

If you know an emo kid, please stay away. The depression is contagious. I'm a survivor.

Like if you dislike emos.

My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.

I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D

If laughter is contagious, Kris's jokes are immunity.

What's the best thing about Covid-19? It gets into any kid.

Like this post to give someone you hate bad luck.

There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.

I hope my teacher will be ok.

Me: spreading positivity.

Everyone else at the HIV testing center.

Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.

Son (in a happy tone): I know.

Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?

Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.

So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?

And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.

This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"

"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"