Concert jokes
Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the concert?
In case he needed to drop some FRESH LINES.
[concert] SINGER: How's everyone doin' tonight? CROWD: Woo! ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): It's actually been a tough few months.
Did you hear about the Mexican emo band? They're called "Hispanic at the Disco."
Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the concert?
To dig deep with his lyrics.
Why did the rapper take a bath before his concert?
To get his flow SQUEAKY CLEAN!
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?
Because he wanted to drop some TIMELY RHYMES!
Why did the rapper bring a comb to the concert?
Because he wanted to STYLE his FLOW.
Why did the rapper bring a calculator to the concert?
To COUNT his BARS.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?
Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.
Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!
Bob Weir: Where are you going?
Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈
Why did the rapper bring a vacuum to the concert?
So the haters could SUCK on him!
Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?
When did Michael say, "This is it"?
2009.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the concert?
So he could DEFINE his own beats!
"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."
"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?
Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!
Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.