I'm not completely usless I can be used as a bad example.
What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."
- What did the skeleton say to his friend? - Actually... TIBIA honest i don't know how to complete this joke...
I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend, I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!
how do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
the wheel chair rises to the top
One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage
I accidentally texted my wife “I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her.”
I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing? Me: Sure.. ( Expecting a completely different response than what I get. ) Sister: Nvm, they have no difference. Me: * Confused * Sister: They're both horrible.
What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser? This guy, yep this guy right here.
Why cant orphans complete homwork?? Because they have no home!
Why Demons are dying from Priestwater?The Soul from a Priest is completly diffrent
Ok ok whats up with the Fake Gwens ama use a test to see who is real or not. The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question what is my real name. And do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.
Stephen hawkings death was completely accidental..
He pressed shut down instead of sleep
I just found out i'm colourblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
35. How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry. 41. To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state. 43. You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick...and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge
Today there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there. When he was done, he had realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
I'm not completely useless....
I can be used as a bad example!?
