few jokes (sorry if they have already been used.) 1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall. 3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks. 4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans. 5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course! 6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here." 7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler. 8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights
Papyrus:HUMAN,WHY ARE YOU SAD? Me:I'm just BONELY. Sans:Good one kiddo.
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with a arm missing and I thought cool display until I heard him screaming and getting the other chopped off then I said “ man now that’s a 10/10 display wow
what do you call cap and spider-man? SPIDER-AMERICA!!!!!!!!
What do you call a group of depressed kids? The suicide squad.
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What's India's favourite font?
Comic Sanskrit
Orphan: "I want to be a superhero."
Me: "You should be Batman."
Also me: *starts laughing* because Batman doesn't have parents...
Kid:I want to be batman Ok when he gets home his parents are dead
I drew a fist on a body and then i drew a guy saying to him "that dude's a knucle-head!"
papyrus: SANS stop being a lazy Bones. Why bro, guess you don't have the back bone to do any thin. heheh
Screw anima!
oh wait, that called hentai.
Papyrus:nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude! Sans:I guess now it says pool dude ;) Papyrus:SSSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS
So there was 3 baby chickens and 2 mothers the first baby said "why am I named calf?" and the mother said "I f###ed a cow" then the second baby came up to it's mother and it said " why am I named b##ch? " and it's mom said "I f###ed a wolf and the final baby came to its mother and said "why am I named orphan?" And because it's mother wasn't there to see it this is what I have to say "because you are one you ducking hitch!!"
Robin asks Batman what are you getting your parents for Christmas Batman gets mad slaps Robin and runs off crying
now you know why Batman beyond was born when Bruce died cause of death: suicide
How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider Man? Well, he weaved a really tangled web and Aunt May saw it.
"TINY HANDS, EVEN TINIER BRAIN" ==========================
(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic :
......"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump, what the fuck up with that dude, man ? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas !) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for being fucked up, for instance"....
STUMP : TEENY DICK
BUMP : TINY TIT
GUMP : DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY
MUMP : A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE
LUMP : IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED
UMP : OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS
RUMP : AN ASS
DUMP : A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS
HUMP : SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD
PUMP : SEE "HUMP"
. . . and last, but definitely not least --
JUMP : JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO TO HELL !!
.... "Well that's about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse !! ......(splort!, plop!)....... OOOOPS !! ..... sniff,sniff ........ Ewww !" (audience roars) "Fuhhhhk !... I better go, 'cause I just went !! ..... Ha! ha! ha!"
......"Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen ! Good Night !!" ............
(endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', guns poppin')
"OH LORDY !!... HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE!!"
(quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi.........with the windows down) .......Amen. ==============================
