Child jokes
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
Why is it ok to hit an orphan?
Because they can't call their parents.
On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?
Lucas is a baby, a little girl, ooo!
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"
Why didn’t the orphan see the new movie?
It was "Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Why do orphans love school so much?
They have no HOMEWORK.
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
I kicked the shit out of Little Johnny.
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
Why did the orphan live at school?
Because on the first day his parents didn’t pick him up.
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither can see their parents.