Chapstick jokes
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
why the fuck is steam there ????
My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
A. Toothpaste.
What do Polish people in Poland use chop sticks for?
tweezers.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?
Community talk
“I kissed a girl and I liked it The taste of her cherry chapstick I kissed a girl just to try it”