Cant jokes

I hate it when disabled people get bullied...

... because they can't stand up for themselves.

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    • Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d*ck reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well, no sir." And grandpa said then no, you can't.

    Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said, "Let me get a hit of that," and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d*ck reach your a**?" and Johnny said no again. And then papaw was shootin' his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d*ck reached his a**, and Johnny said no.

    Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d*ck reach your a**?" and papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f*ck yourself 'cause you ain't gettin' none of my ice cream!"

    Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.

    Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.

    Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"

    my grandfather cant a woman's taco anymore cause his balls fell off from getting to many tacos

    So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

    I'm scared that it moves at night.

    I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

    Why can't toilet paper cross the road? Because the toilet paper got stuck in a crack. 🤣🤣🤣

    There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”

    The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”

    The third blonde says “so we go at night.”

    Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.

    Why can the orphan only go to restaurants?

    Because they can't have homemade meals.

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    • Terrorist: We can go over it, we can’t go under it, let’s go through it.

    Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?

    Cows go moo.

    Why can't the orphan run past third base?

    'Cause the orphan doesn't have a home to run to.