Canning jokes

"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."

When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

My pits are hairy, but my I can carry.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

They can't see their parents.

What do you call a disabled person that can walk?

Enabled.

Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.

Why do orphans never use other people's Wi-Fi?

So they can be connected.

Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.

The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"

Prince, can we please chat?

Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".

I commented back to you and portory.

What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!

I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.

I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.

Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.

The orphan: What is home?

Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.

*puts in trash can*

Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?

Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!

Why is something orphans can never say?

"Let's go home."

Hey, Tanya, can I Tanya ass?

What place can you find a cow? Mc'Donalds (Eieio)