Canning jokes

I'm bored so can y'all ask me some questions and I have to answer them?

People go to places to see Harry Potter live, but you can just go to the abortion place and see something disappear.

What’s one food orphans can eat?

Homemade.

If anyone can see Alya KUHL please tell me! I love and miss her...

What kind of nuts come in cans?

Creamed a-corn.

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

Why are orphans good at math? Because they can subtract their parents from the family.

Period: Guess who’s back... back again...

Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?

Period: I can come back in 9 months?

Me: Keep fucking singing.

Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"

The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"

"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."

When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

My pits are hairy, but my I can carry.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

They can't see their parents.

What do you call a disabled person that can walk?

Enabled.

Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.

Why do orphans never use other people's Wi-Fi?

So they can be connected.

Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.

The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"

Prince, can we please chat?

Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".

I commented back to you and portory.