Canning jokes
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see their parents.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
I'm sorry, but I can only process text. Please provide the joke as text.
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.
Why can’t you sell nans, but you can sell zebras?
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home base.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one they can call "daddy."
I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...
I'm bored so can y'all ask me some questions and I have to answer them?
Where can you never take an orphan to dinner?
Family restaurants.
Why do orphans go to church? So that they can call someone Father.
When you don't wear earrings for a long time, the hole can close, and it hurts so much when you want to put it back. 🙄🙄 😁😁😁🤣
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?
A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.
I can see my future in your forehead.
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]