What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup? They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses some say they’re still in the air
There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes. When she got the puppy, he was nice. But the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually the parents got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food you know.” The parents only answered with “oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy..he won’t need feeding for years.”
Michael J Fox walks into an ice cream parlour. The man behind the counter asks Michael. Can I help you? Michael exclaims I would like an ice cream? The man behind the counter asks. What flavour? Michael says. It doesn't matter what flavour, I'm gunna fucken drop it anyway.
Why do orphans want a suger daddy? They actually can call someone daddy
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression all you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
Why go across town when u can go across the hall?
Hey girl are your pants a mirror. ‘Cause I can see myself in them.
#pick-up-line
Elderly man: can I get a discount please, I fought in world war 2..
Cashier: sure!
Elderly man: danke
I robbed a person in a wheelchair, he cried and said: "you can run but you cant hide". I ran and i never saw him again
Can I put my balls in your JAW <3
Guys can we change pride month to another month please my birthday is in june and im mot gay and my friends keep making fun of me i think we should change it to march because my brothers birthday is in march and thatd be funny
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen. Just how low can you get.
Your mom is soo fat nobody can compare her to anything
What music do depressed people listen to? "I believe I Can fly"
Whats worse then ten dead babies in a dumpster, One dead in ten trash cans...lol
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheel chair
What do emo boys and emo girls have in common they both wanna die and cut so they can die faster but they are already dead already dead to me!
what game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?
tic tac toe.
