Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?
The turtle, because it can walk.
Canning Jokes
Why do orphans become hookers?
'Cause they can call someone "daddy."
I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
Why is Homelander an orphan's favorite superhero?
Because they can actually land a home.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can’t defeat cancer!
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
Why does Technoblade love orphans?
'Cause he can relate to their parents!
What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?
Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!
Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Hey! This site has a home page, but I wonder if the orphans can see it.
"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."
Can a person in a wheelchair stand up for themselves?
What’s one food orphans can eat?
Homemade.
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
Why do orphans love playing baseball?
They can always run home.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither can see their parents.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
