But jokes
I'm about to say this but.....
*whentheimposterissus*
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but only got plane.
Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question.
Johnny: What?
Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty?
Johnny: Yes ofc jesus made everybody wonderfully!
Ex: Awhh!
Johnny: But whoever made you was painting Thomas the Train while making your face.
I would tell you a recycling joke.
But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.
You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?
You were hit by a shockwave!
I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.
Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
Wilt Chamberlain may have spread his seed among many women, but Kobe spread his brain matter all over California.
Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?
They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.
Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.
You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.
Why can't orphans buy chips?
Because they're family sized!
An orphan goes to a doctor.
Doctor: "Sorry, I can't help you."
Orphan: "But why?"
Doctor: "I'm a family doctor."
Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."