Bully: "I would roast you but my mom told me not to burn trash." Me: "So that's why you haven't burnt yourself yet." 🤔
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!
What did god say when he made the black human? Oh no i burnt another one
Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubbas two best friends the three were inseparable agreed.. The first friend said hard to tell can you turn him over the coroner look perplexed but did so nope that's not Bubba. The second friend said he's burnt up pretty bad can you roll him over again the coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway, nope that's not him. Pretty confused the coroner asked how can you tell its not him by rolling him over? well you see Bubba had two assholes, Impossible the coroner replied. The friends said I don't know but everytime we went to town everyone would say here comes Bubba with them to assholes.
My son said he burnt food on accident so I told him he was an accident
the name brynley means burnt wood lolololol
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down and he loved it. Not really though.
2 women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement. Emma turns to Jane and says "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"r> Emma replies with "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
Apparently I'm not aloud home house fires, but the neighbours their house burnt lovely
911 what's your emergency burning in toaster toast? yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast set fir to my forest
Why did Hitler's cookies taste bad? He forgot to clean out the oven.
There was this intern that worked at an orphanage and she burnt it down luckily she don't have to tell there parents
Roses are red my toaster too, oh shit I've burnt the house down what do now do I screw.
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in calabasas
I burnt down a whole forest and asked myself ," is this hell?"