Both jokes

What does my arm have in common with paper?

They both can be cut.

What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?

They both come on little white crackers.

Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both come while you’re asleep.

What do orphans and garbage have in common?

They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.

A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."

The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."

Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?

Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?

When you drop them both, everyone screams.

My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.

What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?

Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.

What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?

They both like lil' boys.

What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?

They both say "Hello children!"

What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.

What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.

What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.

If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.

What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?

They both choke on plastic.

A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?

Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.

What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?

Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.