Both jokes
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
Memes
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.
What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.