A man's daughter comes home from school and asked her dad if she can borrow the car. The father replies, no its too late at night. The daughter says cmon dad. I'll do anything. The dad says OK suck my dick. The daughter says no that's disgusting. The dad says you want the car. You said you'll do anything. The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth. She stops and says eww dad your dick smells like shit. The dad replies yeah well your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago.
What do you say if you want to borrow you black sisters foundation - got any lighter shades
My friend told me my wrist wasn't a cutting board. So I asked her if hers was at all and If i could borrow it.
when you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening. "Sure honey! If you suck my dick! So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!" "Oh yeah, I forgot" says the father "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
Why you should never borrow money from dwarves? Because they always short 😁😁😁😁
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to the how we talk to other guys like when they say can I borrow a pencil you say you can borrow this hard wood dick
this guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named how to commit suicide he never returned it
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, i said: "Hey can i borrow that?" he says "yes" me over here walking to the cashier and saying: "goodbye" he screams: "HAVE MERCY!" I say: "No not to you, to me. say goodbye" he says: "No don't shoot yourself" it was to late.
I asked to borrow a book from the library, it was titled 'suicide in ten easy steps' the cunt just stood and said "cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"
me: Can I borrow your cd? friend: What cd? me: see deez nuts in yo mouth
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book? You look at the emo girl and say "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
a man went into a libary to get a book on how to commit sucide the libarian said "no you won't bring it back
You: Finds a time clock that can change time
Your friend the next day: Hey, can borrow yo' house
You: No I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again
Son:mom can i borrow 50$?
Mom:What NO WAY what do you think money grows on trees?
SOn:mom what is money made of
Mom:paper
Son:where does paper come from?
Mom: . . .
:can I borrow a book how to kill myself
:librarian. No cause you won’t bring it back
What's worse than locking your keyes in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
