Booby Trap jokes

I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap!

My and my penis never truly understood the words "Booby traps" until we met the ex-wife. God's gift of self-will was working fine until my penis went hard and my mind went blank, and God started laughing, and I swear I heard him say, "Booby trap" as he walked away! True story.

Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."

A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.

How do you surprise a blind guy? Leave the plunger in the toilet.

"Would you like to play the rape game?"

"No wtf" she replied.

"That's the spirit!"

How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom.