Bob

Bob Jokes

Orphanage

What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?

They're both filled with happy little accidents.

Butter

Fred says, "Have you heard the rumor about butter?"

Bob says, "Umm no."

Fred then says, "Ah, okay then I won't spread it."

Depression

Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?

Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.

Invention

When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.

And then Mark came in.

Kid

Bob, why are you kicking the kids?

What, it's not like they have a home to go to.

Orphan

Bob: Can I come to your house to meet your family?

Orphan: I don't have a family.

Fat

You are so fat Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix it!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

War

What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?

Bruno Mars.

Similarity

Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?

They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"

Roblox

Roblox Talent Shows be like:

Host: Next Up is Bob!

Bob: Hi! I'll be singing Pian-

*Buzzing Noises*

Judges: You suck!

Bob: I'm reporting!

*Bob get's kicked from the server*

Trip

Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!

Bob Weir: Where are you going?

Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈

Heart Monitor

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.

Planet

Bob: Hey bud, remember we're going to space!

Carol: Really? I forgot to planet.