So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
A priest is drowning in a river. A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that God will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God said, "I sent you three f***ing boats and you didn't take them!"
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!
Nobody: People on the Titanic: *SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
Putin be like that boat is now a submarine!
What do you call a fast boat?
Usain Boat.
You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
All of them are married!
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"
The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."
Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
Why is yo mama so fat? She follows rap boat's diet.
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
What did Rapboat's mom say to Rapboat?
"Is it in yet?"
The only thing shittier than rapeboats rhymes are his jokes.
