Boast

Boast jokes

Furry

  • I diddled for a total of 67 times. I am the ultra Gooner. My cum is everywhere. I am the goon master.

  • 1
  • Assault

  • A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"

  • 1
  • Guy

  • Guy with no arms: Even if I don’t have arms, I can do everything you can do.

    🎵if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands🎵

    Cheetah

  • Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."

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  • Guy

  • Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.

    Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶

    Dog

  • In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.

    They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"

    The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."

  • 0
  • Group

  • A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

    "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

    "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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  • Cowboy

  • Three cowboys are at a fire talking about the best things they have done.

    Cowboy 1 says, "I have taken out a whole group of raiders with my bare hands."

    Cowboy 2 says, "I have killed a herd of bulls with my thumb."

    Cowboy 3 chuckles as he mixes the fire with his dick.

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  • Aussie

  • An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.

    The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."

    The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."

    The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."