BlessedBrian jokes

BlessedBrian's autobiography would be titled "The Adventure of Watching Paint Dry."

Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.

BlessedBrian’s mom’s birth certificate is a COLLECTOR’S ITEM.

BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.

I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job.

BlessedBrian's family reunions must be like a casting call for the Addams Family.

If stupidity was a superpower, BlessedBrian would be UNSTOPPABLE!

Even Bob Ross couldn’t paint a happy little accident like BLESSEDBRIAN.

I’ve seen more life in a trampled garden gnome than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.

I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.

There will be better punchlines at BlessedBrian’s FUNERAL than in his JOKES.

If stupidity was a superpower, BLESSEDBRIAN would be a MARVEL CHARACTER.

BlessedBrian’s sense of humor is like a GPS without signal... LOST and going NOWHERE.

I've seen more charisma in a wet mop than in BLESSEDBRIAN'S personality.

"BlessedBrian must be a SMOKE DETECTOR... because he never fails to kill the vibe."

If BLESSEDBRIAN were any more inbred, he’d be a SANDWICH.

If I found BlessedBrian's jokes FUNNY, I would be just as retarded as HIM.

I’ve seen more life in a bowl of WEEK-OLD GUACAMOLE than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.

"BlessedBrian" is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads him, but somehow he KEEPS SHOWING UP.

"BlessedBrian must be a bank loan... because he has NO INTEREST."