Binge jokes
New degree plans announced by Cornell University:
- Frat Studies, includes classes in acquiring ketamine and arranging threesomes with your homeboy and some random girl.
- Sorority Studies, includes classes in oral sex, binge drinking, and bullshitting after the fact.
- Consent Theory, teaches the new generation that "Yes" means "No" and your problems can all be solved by regretting your own poor decision-making (the shop's still open btw).
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
Asian conversation:
Person 1: Ni hao, how's it going?
Person 2: Konnichiwa, what's up?
Person 1: I've bing chilling.
How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.
The Twin Towers remind me of an emote... bing, bang, boom.
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
How do Chinese parents name their children?
Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.
I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.