Belt jokes
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
Because he wasn’t wearing his seat belt.
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized it was a waste of time!
What's Adam's biggest fear?
Andy with a belt.
A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"
The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."
I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
Yo mama so fat, she wears Orion's belt!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt."