Beat jokes
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
How does a rapper like his eggs?
Hard-boiled, to match his beats!
Why don't rappers tell secrets?
Because they always spill the beats.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always know where the BEAT is.
Why don't booties make good drummers?
They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.
What do you call it when a rapper has a cold?
A sniff beat.
How do you know a rapper is ready to cook?
He drops the beet.
How does a rapper clean their house?
With a BEAT BRUSH!
How do you know if a rapper is hungry?
They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table.
Why was the rapper always the first one at the party?
Because he never missed a beat!
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because they could always count on their beats!
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because they wanted to bake some BEATS.
What did the rapper say to the broken vending machine?
"Yo, drop the BEAT!"
What do you call a rapper who can't keep a beat?
A RAPPER-TAP-TAP!
Why was the rapper always on time?
Because they had a PHAT BEAT to keep them in check!