Battery

Battery Jokes

Switch

Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?

Day

I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?

Car

What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!

Difference

What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.

  • 7
  • Police

    Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.

    Wife

    I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.

    Charge

    When the police caught him stealing the batteries, he got immediately charged!

    Roast

    1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

    2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

    3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

  • 8
  • Wife

    Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.

    Phone

    Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!

    Head

    Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.