My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.
So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
“Don’t sneeze”
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends I would always tell them “Don’t sneeze” and when I did they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed we laughed even harder.
Also,
“It dangles and swung” Language art quizzes are the best
I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the rool, and then I said; "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"
when the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like indiana jones
Diarrhea
Question Your American when your not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when your in the restroom.
Answer European (Your a peein')
The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.
What happened to the eight year old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church? The priest stopped him on the way there
I am having a shit and there nothing else to read
A blond a bernet and a red head walked into a bar the bartender told them their was a magic merror in the bathroom.He said that if you spoke the truth infront of the merror you would have your greatest desires but if you told a lie you would disappear .The red head sais that she was the pretiest girl in the bar and she walked out the bathroom and she got athusand dollars.The berrnet walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar she walked out the ber with a new car.The bland went she said I think poof she was gone
The toilet paper tried to cross the road. He couldn't because he was stuck in a crack.
a girl and a boy were on a date, the boy kept farting. the girl asked, What Is Wrong?!?!the boy replied, "explosive diareah." the girl said ew.
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. the center of the explosion, the bathroom.
So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
my water was leaking, so i used flex tape. now i don't know where to shower. Thanks Phil
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an englishman. He says things like,
"It's a elevator, not'a lift!"
and
"It's bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the englishman says,
"Hey wankar, it's a school, not a god damned shootin range."
why take a nap on the toilet because it's a rest-room
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
