Bars jokes
Why would a Italian heterosexual male do for $100.00 if he was a prostitute that a polish american male would only do for a Klondike bar if he was a prostitute?
suck a big cock.
A gay wizard went to a bar and disappeared with a poof!
Two mates walk into a bar.
Mate 1: "Shit! Look at that spider over there!"
Mate 2: "Whateverrrrrrr."
Mate 1: "No, seriously, it's bloody massive!"
Mate 2: "(Turns around) Shit, that's huge, I thought you were joking."
Mate 1: "No, I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)"
A man walks into a skyscraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An onlooker watches this and is scared, but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped came back up again 10 minutes later.
The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive, and the man said with a drunk, slurred voice, “I don’t know, every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try, slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT!
The bartender looks at the first man and says, “Your an a**hole when your drunk, Superman.”
Why did the man walk into a bar?
Because he just broke up and he needs alcohol, you dummy!
So a cupcake walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says to himself, "Damn, this is some good shit."
Why was the math book sad at the rapper?
Because it knew it couldn't count on his bars.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?”
The bartender says, “No, only women.”
The man then leaves.
Why did the rapper become an astronaut?
To drop some BARS in SPACE!
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
A man walks in a bar. Ouchie!
Q: What’s Jackie Chan‘s favorite drink to have at a bar?
A: Wo-Tah!
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"
A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”
The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.
They should have ducked.
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
A jumping cable walked into a bar and the bartender said,
"I will serve you, but don't start anything!"
Logic fire bars in Fortnite sped up to sound like he [is a] chipmunk like Alvin, Simon, and Theodore :)