Q: What’s Jackie Chan‘s favorite drink to have at a bar?
A: Wo-Tah!
Bars Jokes
Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?
Diabetes.
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.
They should have ducked.
I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigarettes at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)
Why was the math book sad at the rapper?
Because it knew it couldn't count on his bars.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always have BARS on their GPS.
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?”
The bartender says, “No, only women.”
The man then leaves.
Three men walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked! 😅
Three guys walk into a bar; the fourth one ducks.
A jumping cable walked into a bar and the bartender said,
"I will serve you, but don't start anything!"
Logic fire bars in Fortnite sped up to sound like he [is a] chipmunk like Alvin, Simon, and Theodore :)
A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”
The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”
Why did the rapper become an astronaut?
To drop some BARS in SPACE!
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
It's really funny, read through everything slowly.
Say "I'm a man" after everything I say.
I went to the bar. "I'm a man." You saw this woman. "I'm a man." You guys married. "I'm a man." You guys bought a house. "I'm a man." You guys went to bed. "I'm a man," you said. "I'm a man," she said. "I'm a man."
A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini.
The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him.
The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao.
