Why did the rapper become an astronaut?
To drop some BARS in SPACE
Why was the math book sad at the rapper?
Because it knew it couldn't COUNT on his bars
I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigerates at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)
So I walk in to a bar and There’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face
That’s the punch line
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?” The bartender says, “No, only women.” The man then leaves.
3 man walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked!😅
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always have BARS on their GPS
its rly funny read through everything slowly say im a man after everything i say. I went to the bar. "Im a man" you saw this woman. "Im a man" you guys married. 'Im a man' you guys bought a house. 'im a man' you guys went to bed. "im a man" you said. "im a man" she said. "im a man"
A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini. The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him. The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao
a skeleton walk into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me and if you try to insult me i have thick skin.
A blind person walkes into a bar
Because they can’t see where they are going
This man walks into a bar and says... "how do i get service here." The assistant bar attendent tells him him to take a seat as the bar tender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes the man says this is ridiculous that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes goes buy and the man then says ok i get it no service of beer but free nuts to which the assistant says hell no the game starts in 10 minutes. Everyone laughs and claps.
What's the difference between an aborted fetus and an upside-down bar stool?
An upside-down bar stool can only pleasure 4 men.
The man walks into a bar reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player the piano player starts playing the piano, the guy next to him asks where did you get that, the man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes, so the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside he says to the genie I want a million bucks, the genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks appear in the road, the man comes back inside and says hey that genie is a little hard of hearing, the man says well did you really think I'd ask for a 12-in pianist
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
a man walks into a bar
Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse replies saying "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart." The bartender responds saying "oh" sympathetically. "sucks to be you!" The bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.
Two gay men walk into a bar, one of them turned to the other and said, hey, what do you say we get out of here?
a man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm the bartender asks what he wants the man says i would like one beer for me and one for the rode
