Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could always COUNT his BARS
What did the rapper say to the fridge? (Part 2) “I'm HUNGRY for some BARS!"
Why did the rapper go to therapy?
He had too many BARS he couldn't drop
What do you call a fart in a gay bar A mating call
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping CENTS instead of BARS
Why did the rapper go to space?
To drop some ASTRONOMICAL bars
Why was the math book sad at the rap battle?
Because it couldn't COUNT the BARS
Why did the rapper bring a calculator to the concert?
To COUNT his BARS
Why did the rapper become a MATH TEACHER?
Because he was good with bars and beats
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he heard the bars were high
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?” The bartender says, “No, only women.” The man then leaves.
What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?
A hoedown
I'm gonna open up a bar for emos. I think I'll call it the The Cutting Board.
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that. "new around here?" said the bartender "nah, been here awile" said the robot Bartender "you can talk?" robot "yeah, pretty cool huh." bartender "why do you want a martini" robot "oh, i'm just in the mood for one, you know?" The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk. The robot seems to be just like a normal human, "wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender "the top minds in the world." said the robot. The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..." Bartender, "what?" "Why did you read this entire story, it does not have a punchline, I just wasted your time, Get bamboozled nerd!"
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar. They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements. The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.” The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.” The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space? Mars bars
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?” Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
I was at a bar the girl said sex, sex free sex tonight when she really said 663629
I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking. But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around, that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender can squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time Weight Lifters, Lumberjacks, men in the Army, and Etc. But still, nobody could do it. One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet". After the laughter had died down the bartender said "okay" and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the Rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to Total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack a weight lifter or what?". The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS".
