Bar

Bar jokes

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

A money manager who counts bars.

How do you know if a rapper's broke?

When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.

Why was the math book sad at the rap battle?

Because it couldn't count the bars!

Why did the rapper become a MATH TEACHER?

Because he was good with bars and beats.

Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?

Because he heard the bars were high.

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?”

The bartender says, “No, only women.”

The man then leaves.

I'm gonna open up a bar for emos.

I think I'll call it "The Cutting Board."

A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.

The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.

"New around here?" said the bartender.

"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.

Bartender "You can talk?"

Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."

Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"

Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"

The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.

The robot seems to be just like a normal human.

"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.

"The top minds in the world," said the robot.

The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."

Bartender, "What?"

"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar.

They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements.

The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.”

The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.”

The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”