So a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex, when he gets to the bar he brags about the different sex positions they used and one of the guys says "oh did you do head" and he responded with no I couldn't find the head
What is Michael Jackson's favorite candy bar? Milk-hee-hee way
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left. The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?” The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
A snake walks into the bar...the bartender says “How the heck did you do that?”
My brother goes into the bar and says bartender give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey. The bartender says that's a lot of alcohol. My brother says celebrating my first blowjob. The bartender said let me buy you a drink. My brother said no this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth.
2 men ran into a bar, you would have thought after the first one hit it the second one would have seen it
What is 6 inches and has nuts A snickers bar
A middle eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show, he starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
I got barred from weight watchers today it wasn't my fault it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room all i did was say that it was the funniest game of hungry hungry hippo's that I have ever seen
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar , '13 pints of water please' he says to the barman 'Oh fuck not you again' barman replies 'You boys are about to see something real special' says Jesus
A dolphin swims into a bar, and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.
This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. he sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger. Mason: heh. good thing i eat like a horse. He looks up at the waiter. Waiter: you are a nasty little bunny, aren't you? Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him.... she was a HORSE.
how can you buy emos. just use their bar code
James Bond: vodka martini Bartender: shaken not sterd James Bond: do I look like I give a DAMN
If jonny ate 29 out of 30 choclate bars what would he have? Diabetus jonny would have diabetus.
why did the prisoner run away? to spit bars
its rly funny read through everything slowly say im a man after everything i say. I went to the bar. "Im a man" you saw this woman. "Im a man" you guys married. 'Im a man' you guys bought a house. 'im a man' you guys went to bed. "im a man" you said. "im a man" she said. "im a man"
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
Orphan goes into a bar and the bartender says im sorry u need parent peemission to enter
Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.
