Bar jokes
A man walks into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.
The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.
The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?
An AK-BAR 47.
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."
A limbo champion walks into a bar.
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.
The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"
Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
Where do terrorists go for a drink?
At the Allahu-ak Bar.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
What is Michael Jackson's favorite candy bar?
Milk-hee-hee Way.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"