Autonomy jokes

Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.

My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.

Bill really said "your body, my choice," like, my man, it's your body, MY choice.

I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.

Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.

I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.

Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.

The USA guaranteeing freedom of speech is the biggest joke I've heard... Tell that to the people who were almost killed because their cars had "NASCAR Sucks" and "Country and Western is rubbish" on them!

If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?

Me: Mom, would you get mad at me for something I didn't do?

Mom: No.

Me: Ok, good. I didn't do my homework.

Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.

Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.