Aunt Jokes

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

my aunt used to say "slow and steady wins the race". she died in a fire.

Some rules of childhood cricket:

1. Whose bat his batting

2. Mother called,

To go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.

3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.

Had an amazing night with this girl woke up and it was my aunt now I’m inlove

What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunts annus?

The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.

Why did the chicken cross the road why? because the wanted to kick someone in the family

My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11"

Gwen we can chat in 2 mounths my aunt just died from covid and is talking forever for us too get there to californa I love you your boyfriend prince!

what's a penguin's favourite relative?

Aunt Arctic

My Aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or its useless, throw it away." the next time my Aunt visited she said "Where is you daughter?" my Mom said "I took your advice"

Who makes the best anteaters??? Uncle's..(Aunt eaters)

What do you call your angry french aunt

A crossaunt

I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died "can you stop shaking the latter please"

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks " what's that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey.

My aunt worked as a human cannon ball

I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired

What comes to visit more often then your aunt your acne

Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk