An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope
Husband: I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time Wife: You have the biggest penis out of all your friends
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man "how did you die?" the man says "I have a heart condition and iv'e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man "how did you die?" the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me!" god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
What do you call a musician 👩🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
Yo mama is so fat, when she nocliped into the backrooms.
She was in level 0 and level 999 at the same time
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz u can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation
What is white, black, and blue all at the same time? Barack Obama
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy. They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time? Because Paul Walker crashed into it
Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time
How can you be fast and slow at the same time getting a gold medal in the special Olympics?
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first? The feather cause the rope stopped the child
i hate people that hate life me at the same time: is cutting self at night
hides scars* acts like im fine* hehe
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over
Why don’t I shut myself all the time. I can only fit so many pares of kid in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup? They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist
Me: I'm depressed so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son. We both drank them at the same time, and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
I could tell my cousin you are so anoying but she told me first so we both said it at the same time 🫣🤣😂
