Assistance jokes
Help me...
A shop assistant is helping a little boy who can't find his mum in the supermarket.
He asks the boy, "What's she like?"
The boy says, "Big Cocks and vodka!"
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter.
Apparently when the helicopter caught fire, Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire, but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it!”
Hi my sweet friends! This is for everyone who needs help right now :)
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
I called the rape advice line last night. Turns out it's just for victims.
"GWEN, can you help me? There's some person messing with me. There name is JADSA, something like that. Look for a joke named Jayden."
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
I'm in school lol.
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
Hey ummm help!
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
Why did Helen Keller have a yellow leg?
Her dog was blind, too.
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?
This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"
The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.
All my jokes are cries for help.
INCLUDING THIS ONE.
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽