Are jokes

What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?

"Are you ready kids?"

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.

Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.

Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?

Son: Dad, where are you?

Dad: Getting another one.

Son: Getting what?

Dad: Dad.

Why do cemeteries have fences?

Because people are dying to be there.

People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"

"Yeah, over my dead body!"

Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore?

Because all the Mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already here.

The north and south towers got into an argument.

The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.

Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...

The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, When life gets tough, I'll stand by you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In this world of chaos, I find peace with you.

Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?

My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.

How are Asians like a box of chocolates?

Either way, they’ll kill your dog.

A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?

The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.

The gay couple was still packing their shit.

The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.

How are Black people like communism?

Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.