Are jokes

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"

"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."

Who are you to believe if you don't believe in unicorns?

You are a joke.

Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?

Because they are Sith-ters.

We are anonymous because none of us are as cruel as all of us.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a joke, so are you.

Leprechauns are stupid. No joke.

Are you a toaster?

You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.

Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?

Yeah, they're pretty holey.

Are you choked?

How are women like swimming pools?

They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.

What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?

Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?

Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.

Roses are red, violets are blue, You told me I'm ugly, nah, you look like a monkey!

Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, With every beat of my heart, I'm devoted to you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your smile's warmth, Lights up my view.

Why are gay men better than straight women?

Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.

It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.

None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.